Baseball

I can't speak for all the ladies in the land, but Maria and I live in The South, where a man is as likely to be wearing a baseball hat as he is likely to have a nose. Even when he's going out! Take off your hats you stupid fucks!
Fact: Having great hair will get you laid, regardless of what gender you are and what gender you are trying to pick up.
Fact: I can't see what your goddamn hair looks like if you're wearing a hat. Would you fuck a girl in a beekeeper outfit? Christ.
Fact: When you take your hat off after you've been wearing it and sweating in it half the night, even Brad Pitt ends up looking like Brad Pitt's Retarded Cousin. Leave it on or leave it at home, Jimbob.
Fact: Yankees or Nicks? Who gives a shit about baseball players and their shrunken beytsim. Do you play for Team Straight, that's what I want to know.
Fact: I didn't know that "rounding the bases" was also a sports term until I was twenty-five.
Hats off, motherfuckers!
Vulvatron Out!